Writing Process

I think my biggest struggle for this assignment was bringing Grand Prairie to life. It's a very unique golf course and Ann and Jim are really great people, so I hope I did them justice. In my redrafting for the second piece, my main focus was to make the family element of the course more clear. I tried to emphasize how Ann and Jim's family has made Grand Prairie what is to today, and explain why they want to retire to the little course instead of San Antonio, Texas. I talked with Ann's daughter Caitlan, so I think that helped to bring in the family element also.

Overall, I'm pretty pleased with the end result. The writing and reporting process was less stressful this time around, but I still worry that the piece isn’t focused enough. I tried to bring more of the family element into the lede by making the connection to Grand Prairie being like Ann’s home. I also switched the opening scene from the Thursday night women’s league to a young family I observed right before I interviewed Ann. I tried re-working where I put the course description, but in the end, I felt it worked out better by leaving at the beginning of the piece.

Slideshow

A Family Affair

Grand Prairie is a nine hole public golf course with 1,710 yards of gently rolling terrain. It’s located on Grand Prairie Rd., its namesake, just off of Drake Rd. Twelve golf carts are neatly parked in three rows to the side of the pro shop, a small, light blue wood-sided building that resembles the modest family homes that line the street. A “life is good” sticker smiles in the center of the green door’s glass frame. 

Entering the pro shop is like being welcomed into the home of Ann Roscheck, 54, manager of Grand Prairie. The combination of her kind face, framed by her golden brown bob, and the intimate ambience of the pro shop, creates a family feeling that hangs in the air alongside the faint aroma of baking chocolate chip cookies. Single plastic roses, bolstered by fake daisies and babies breath, are neatly compiled in clear glass vases centered on each of the six tables in the corner. A black frame on the countertop displays a picture of Ann’s son Anthony holding his newborn daughter Anna.

Behind the counter is Ann’s daisy dog Bogie, who immediately attracts the attention of two young boys with miniature golf bags strapped to their backs, entering the pro shop with their parents. The dad heads straight to the counter to pay for golf, whereas the mom scans the racks and walls of women’s golf equipment and apparel. More than 80 percent of all floor merchandise is tailored to women, except for three hanging men’s polos, and several non-pink golf bags and golf balls.

“Tommy, isn’t this cute?” the woman asks her husband, holding up a floral pink skort to her waist. He feigns a smile, but Ann is quick to jump in, sensing the husband’s disinterest.

“That will be perfect for golfing in the summer,” she beams, shining a white smile. “I need to get a few for myself.”

Unlike the typical golf establishment, Grand Prairie’s short course caters to “old betties, young kids, and college students,” according to Ann. It’s welcoming to newcomers and doesn’t shy away from families and children. In fact, along with junior leagues, Grand Prairie hosts instruction at their course for the Junior Golf Association.

“We’re all about families,” Ann says, tugging at her silver watch. “We know our customers and we know their families. People walk in, they tell you their life story, and bring all their children.”

Ann and her husband Jim, 61, have been operating Grand Prairie since 1991. The golf course is owned by the Township, so the couple leases the property in a series of five year agreements.

“We operate the golf course and pay the Township a percentage of our revenue from green fees and memberships,” Jim explains. “The concessions and merchandise are ours, but basically we operate the golf course inside and out for the Township.”

Jim looks as if he belongs in the pages of Golf Digest, sporting khaki dockers and a grey Ralph Lauren sweater, paired with white golf shoes. 

Previous to Grand Prairie, Jim managed the three city owned golf courses for 28 years: Eastern Hills, Milham Park, and Red Arrow.

Since 2000, the couple has been living in San Antonio, Texas, where Jim operates seven golf courses. Ann comes to Kalamazoo in April when Grand Prairie opens and heads back down to San Antonio when the course closes in September. They alternate between Texas and Michigan at least once a month, though they try to see each other every two weeks. Jim is currently in Kalamazoo awaiting the birth of another grandchild -- the third in four months.

To Ann and Jim, golf and family are synonymous, as it was golf that brought them together in the first place.

“I was seeing this guy, it was nothing serious but he was really in to golf,” Ann explains. “He tried teaching me, but every time we went out both of us ended up frustrated. So I decided to get a professional lesson and Jim happened to be my instructor.”

“I swept her away from her boyfriend and changed her life forever,” he says, a large grin stretching across his sun-tanned face.

Ann bursts out in a fit of laughter, and nods her head. “It’s true,” she smiles. 

The couple has been married for 27 years and, together, have five kids from their previous marriages. Their children and their parents have all worked at the golf courses they have managed. 

“It’s very much a family business,” says daughter Caitlan Stangl. Caitlan, 29, is a realtor at Jacqua Realtors in Kalamazoo. She has only worked at Grand Prairie for the 2012 season, but says that she has been associated with the course her entire life.

 “With Grand Prairie you really become familiar with all aspects of the business and can better serve everyone,” she says.

Caitlan has two daughters: an 11-week-old baby Annie, named after her mother, and seven-year-old step daughter Ella. As a mother herself, she is inspired by her parents, recalling a very pleasant childhood.

“We’re a blended family with exes and step children and half children and different fathers and mothers,” she says, exhaling heavily. “It all gets very complicated.” However, as busy and difficult as she knows it must have been for her parents, she remembers the vacations, fun in the pool, lemonade stands, and movie nights.

Caitlan has witnessed her parents’ relationship evolve throughout their marriage, and notes that the distance during Grand Prairie’s operation isn’t easy on them.

 “After this many years, this many trials and tests, they still want to be near and close to each other,” says Caitlan. “My mom will be sad when Jim goes back to Texas, but she has me, my brother and her grand kids to keep her company.”

Given the strong bond of the Roscheck family, it is no wonder why Grand Prairie deliberately caters to families. This family influence has helped Grand Prairie differentiate itself from the 10 other golf courses in Kalamazoo, and the additional 15 within Kalamazoo County. 

“We have a very unique situation in Kalamazoo because there’s too many golf courses for its population,” Ann says. This factor, combined with the decreasing popularity of the sport nationwide has put a lot of pressure on local courses to lower their prices.

According to National Golf Foundation statistics, the number of golfers in the U.S. has fallen by 13% in the past five years, and golf memberships have dropped by one million since the early 1990’s.

Time and money are key factors in the sport’s decreasing popularity. However, it is exactly these factors that have contributed to Grand Prairie’s success.

“When all the other golf courses were really struggling, we were doing really well,” Ann explains. When golfers couldn’t afford to play at their country clubs, Grand Prairie became a more economical option.

A round of golf at Grand Prairie is $8 and $14 to ride, compared to $20 to ride at Milham Park and $17 at Eastern Hills. Grand Prairie also offers special pricing for students, seniors, and juniors.

In addition to affordable pricing, seniors like Sylvia Tyler, 65, are drawn to the course’s short length.

“I’m old,” she says with a grin in her purple polo and plaid shorts combination. “I can’t get around like I used to. Nine holes is plenty.” Sylvia has been golfing at Grand Prairie for 22 years, and plays on the Kit Kats, the Thursday night women’s league. 

Ann has found that their nine hole course also suits the needs of families.

 “Our lifestyles have changed,” she says. “Fathers are more involved with raising their children, and it’s expensive. If they can get around the course in an hour, as opposed to five, they’re saving time and money.”

Tom Button, 51, has been golfing at Grand Prairie since 1991. He lives half a mile down the road, first coming to the course with his two sons. Both of them participated in the Junior Golf Association instruction and learned how to golf at the course. Their youngest son, Zach, now 22, worked at Grand Prairie for six years.

“With the kids out of the house we really just come out and play for fun,” Tom explains. His wife has just begun taking instruction from Ann and they both play on a mixed league, the Twilighters. “We know Ann and Jim really well so it’s a nice environment to play golf in,” he says.

Ann and Jim plan to maintain the family friendly atmosphere by keeping the course in the hands of their family. Ann says that eventually the plan is for Jim to leave his current position in Texas and retire to Grand Prairie. Two of their children currently live in the Kalamazoo area, and another is planning on moving back shortly.

“We both love Texas, but our family is here,” Ann explains. “We want to retire and spend time with our grand children. We also have parents here that we will eventually have to take care of.”

Ann hints that she’d like Jim to retire sooner, rather than later, and says that “he’d spend his days giving instruction and cutting the grass.”

Jim lets out a loud cackle and runs his fingers through his white-grey hair.

“That’s what you get when you marry a younger woman, they’re always trying to keep you going,” he says. “But you’re right, Grand Prairie would be a nice place to retire to.”

Word Count: 1,583

Intended Publication: The Kalamazoo Gazette

Gospel Mission Drafts

So I decided to delete my Gospel Mission drafts. In the past few classes we've been talking about our responsibility as journalists, and it's made me think about my article in particular. The people that I spoke with are in incredibly vulnerable situations -- they rely on the Gospel Mission for food and shelter, and yet they were willing to share their insights in to the forced aspect of religion in exchange for the Mission's services -- for that I am very grateful. Even though I did not include my subjects' last names, Gospel Mission is mentioned and so is the director. Therefore, I thought I owed it to my subjects to respect their situations and take down the posts. I thought I'd share that with all of you just in case anyone stumbles across my blog and notices there are some gaps..

Process Writing

Grand Prairie is an incredibly unique golf course and I hope that comes across in my writing. I really enjoyed working with Ann and Jim. I spent a lot of time there and they were very welcoming and helped me with everything I needed -- their warmth is definitely characteristic of Ann and Jim as a couple, but also of Grand Prairie as an establishment. Talking with Ann, she told me about the unique situation Kalamazoo is in with too many golf courses for its population. Therefore, doing more research about national statistics of golf's popularity, I decided to frame Grand Prairie as a business model and state of mind that is in response to the waning life of the sport -- how Grand Prairie is working to redefine what golf is through their short course and unique clientele.

I know I talk about that angle in my piece, but I'm wondering if it needs to be more clear. I still have to go back and add in many more narrative details and descriptions, particularly about Ann and Jim, as well as Tom Button and Sylvia Tyler. For this draft I'm most concerned with structure and the quality of information. All your ideas and comments are definitely appreciated!

Grand Prairie Profile Rough Draft

Grand Prairie Golf Course sits quaintly on its 1,710 yards of gently rolling terrain. Twelve golf carts are neatly parked in three rows to the side of the pro shop, a small, light blue wood-sided building that resembles the modest family homes that line Grand Prairie Rd. The front of the pro shop faces an expanse of green, and a tall, white flag pole hoisting an American flag that waves high above the one story building. A “life is good” sticker smiles in the center of the green door’s glass frame. 

Entering Grand Prairie’s pro shop is like being welcomed into someone’s home. A faint aroma of baking chocolate chip cookies hangs deliciously in the air. Floral headboards adorn the windows and single plastic roses, bolstered by fake daisies and babies breath, are neatly compiled in clear glass vases centered on each of the six tables in the corner. Grand Prairie is a golf course with a woman’s touch as the homey decor is accompanied by explosions of pink throughout the pro shop: pink golf bags, pink apparel, and even a chest of pink and yellow balls, dispersed with the occasional white straggler here and there. Over 80% of all floor merchandise is tailored to women, except for three hanging men’s polos, and several non-pink golf bags and golf balls.

Ann Roscheck, manager of Grand Prairie, stands smiling behind the counter in the back of the pro shop with her Daisy dog, Bogie. [insert description]. The Kit Kats, the Thursday night women’s league, pour through the door wet and sticky from a rainy two hours of golf. 

“Ann, I have a complaint,” bursts Sylvia Tyler, 65, approaching the counter in her purple polo and purple plaid shorts combination. “You didn’t tell the golf gods to turn the rain off!” 

“Every year on Thursday, for the last two years, it rains for the Kit Kats,” Ann explains. The Kit Kats are one of Grand Prairie’s oldest leagues. Sylvia, for example, has been a Kit Kat for 22 years.

“We have our own niche here at Grand Prairie,” Ann says. Unlike the typical golf course, Grand Prairie is only 9 holes and caters to “old betties, young kids and college students.” 

Ann and her husband Jim have been operating Grand Prairie since 1991. The golf course is owned by the Township, so the couple leases the property in a series of five year agreements.

“We operate the golf course and pay the Township a percentage of our revenue from green fees and memberships,” Jim explains. “The concessions and merchandise are ours, but basically we operate the golf course inside and out for the township.”

[insert description of Jim]

Previous to Grand Prairie, the couple managed the three city owned golf courses for 28 years: Eastern Park, Millham, and Red Arrow.

Since 2000, the couple has been living in San Antonio, Texas, where Jim operates seven golf courses. Ann comes to Kalamazoo in April when Grand Prairie opens and heads back down to San Antonio when the course closes in September. They alternate between Texas and Michigan at least once a month, though they try to see each other every two weeks. Jim is currently in Kalamazoo awaiting the birth of another grand child -- the third in four months.

He says that clientele is what differentiates Grand Prairie from the larger golf courses he has managed.

“Grand Prairie is more family friendly where as the other courses cater more to men. Here it’s women, more seniors, and more children on a course better suited to their skill level.”

It is this unique clientele that has differentiated Grand Prairie from the 10 other golf courses in Kalamazoo, and the additional 15 within Kalamazoo County.

“We have a very unique situation in Kalamazoo because there’s too many golf courses for its population,” Ann says. “Golf has really gone down since 9/11. The sport can’t keep dropping and survive.”

According to National Golf Foundation statistics, the number of golfers in the U.S. has fallen by 13% in the past five years, and golf memberships have dropped by one million since the early 1990’s.

Time and money are key factors in the sport’s decreasing popularity. However, it is exactly these factors that have contributed to Grand Prairie’s success.

“When all the other golf courses were really struggling, we were doing really well,” Ann explains. When golfers couldn’t afford to play at their country clubs, Grand Prairie became a more economical option. “Our lifestyles have changed,” she continues. “Fathers are more involved with raising their children, and it’s expensive. If they can get around the course an hour, as opposed to five, they’re saving time and money.”

Grand Prairie is helping to redefine golf by appealing to new types of golfers and changing the stiff stereotypes associated with the sport.

“Golf can be fun, it’s okay for golf to be fun,” says Anne.

That is why Grand Prairie has created an environment that welcomes new comers and doesn’t shy away from families and children. 

“Most big courses don’t embrace children, they actually kind of cringe. But we love children, she says.” In addition to junior leagues, Grand Prairie also hosts instruction at their course for the Junior Golf Association (JGA).

Ann provides lessons for golfers of all ages and all skill levels, often handing off her appointment book to Jim when he’s in town to take refuge in the air conditioned pro shop. 

“New golfers feel comfortable here,” Jim explains. “People unfamiliar with our golf course think they’re going to come here and zip around and play unimpeded, but that’s not the case. We have people learning out there.”

Tom Button, 51, has been coming to Grand Prairie since 1990. He lives half a mile down the road, first coming to the course with his two sons. They participated in JGA instruction and learned how to golf at Grand Prairie. Their youngest son, Zach, now 22, worked at the course for six years.

“With the kids out of the house we really just come out and play for fun,” Tom explains. His wife has just begun taking instruction from Ann and they both play on a mixed league, ‘The Twilighters.’ “We know Ann and Jim really well so it’s a nice environment to play golf in.”

“We’re all about families,” Ann explains. “We know our customers and we know their families. People walk in, they tell you their life story, and bring all their children.”

For Ann and Jim golf and family are synonymous.

“Golf has always been a huge part of our family,” Jim says. “Our kids have all worked at the golf courses, our parents have all worked at the courses -- it’s always been a big part of our lives.”

“In fact, I met Ann Marie at a golf lesson,” he says as a large grin stretches across his sun-tanned face. “I swept her away from her boyfriend and changed her life forever.”

Ann bursts out in a fit of laughter, and nods her head. “It’s true,” she smiles. 

The couple plans to keep Grand Prairie in the hands of their family.

“Eventually, the plan is for Jim to retire from his current position and move back to Kalamazoo full time and retire to Grand Prairie,” she says, giving him a slight nudge. “He’d spend his days giving instruction and cutting the grass.”

Jim lets out a loud cackle, running his fingers though his white-grey hair. 

“That’s what you get when you marry an older woman,” he says. “But you’re right, Grand Prairie would be a nice place to retire to.”

Show and Tell

I read a lot of New Yorker and New York Times profiles ranging from Taylor Swift to Michelle Obama to Paul Higgis and Scientology. None of the profiles really gave me a sense of the "real" person behind the fame, which is something that I look for in a profile -- a deeper sense of the subject.  So I kept looking for something else and stumbled upon "Notable Narratives" from the Nieman Storyboard website. From 2006 to 2010, the Nieman Narrative Digest featured "outstanding examples of narrative journalism drawn from newspapers, magazines, radio and television." I pulled a few articles here and there and finally found one that hooked me.

"Remember His Name" by Gary Smith was published in Sports Illustrated in 2006, about Pat Tillman's service/death in the military told through the lens of Tillman's friend Russ Baer. Tillman played in the NFL for the Cardinals and enlisted in the Army after the 9/11 attack, and was killed in friendly fire in 2004 that was covered up by the military.

What I finally found in Smith's story, that I couldn't find in the profiles I had read, was a sense of character. Smith really uncovers the complexity of Tillman -- he wasn't your average red-blooded patriot that you would expect from someone who leaves a lucrative football career and joins the army. He was an atheist, and he didn't always (if ever) agree with the political situation in Afghanistan. This article isn't the best piece of narrative that I've read -- at times it can be a little jarring as it is told through the lens of Tillman's friend, and it is quite long -- however, the sense of character is incredibly strong and well done. Smith always does a good job in recreating scene weaving in elements from Tillman's past, military involvement and Russ's present situation.

Although using Russ as a lens was at time a little confusing, as I mentioned, I also thought that it was a really interesting way to frame the story. The beginning and the ending are strongly linked and I really enjoyed the overall setup. I always struggle with ledes and how to enter in to in article and Smith has really given me a lot to think about. 

Here's the link in case you want to check it out:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/magazine/09/05/tillman0911/6.html

Events of October Reading Response

I first read The Events of October when I was a freshman in Karyn Boatwright’s Introduction to Psychology course. She told me I reminded her a lot like Maggie, she even called me Maggie once by mistake. The comparison Karyn made really threw me off. It just felt so odd to be compared to a girl who had been murdered, but even more strange to actually identify with her -- of course, that’s credit to Gail’s writing and her strong presentation of character. I had completely forgotten about all of these mixed feelings until I read the book again. But beside it’s emotional triggers, I found that I read and appreciated the book in a whole new light.

Writing my own profile, and also reading the texts in this class, has helped me understand what a tremendous accomplishment Gail’s novel is. The countless interviews, endless research, and the soul searching Gail herself had to do, is unbelievable. I’m really interested in the timeframe behind her work -- how long the interview process took, how long the writing/editing process took, etc. I was lucky enough to take Victorian Lit with Gail last spring, her last quarter on campus. From the 10 weeks in class, I know what a warm and open person she is, so it’s not a surprise to me that she was able to make grieving parents, friends, and teachers comfortable enough to talk with her.       

Besides the incredible amount of research, and the brilliance of her writing style, I’m most moved and impressed by how Gail recreates the post-murder scene. I loved that she included what other people in the same dorm were doing the moments leading up to and after the murder-suicide. The varying descriptions of what the gun sounded like -- “like pots or pans or dishes hitting the wall” (106), “a sound like a dresser falling over” (105) -- helped to paint the panic and confusion that occurred that night. The recreation scene was impeccably written, again credited to Gail’s tireless interviewing.

I think more than anything, what I appreciated was that Gail really tried to understand Neenef. Not as a killer, but as a person struggling with his ethnic identity and a daunting family life. By talking to his close friends, and delving into his personal, social and academic life, it created a complex character that at times, I found myself empathizing with. I wonder how Gail wanted Neenef to be understood by readers. It seems to me that she wanted to challenge this conception of cold-blooded patriarchal murderer, but at the same time, I wonder if it was difficult --emotionally -- for her to do so.

Week Seven Response

Between now and Wednesday I have a lot of work to do on my profile. I have all the information/reporting that I need, it's just a matter of structure, or so I thought. Part 5 gave a lot to think about. There are so many different aspects to an effective profile: character/character development, scene reconstruction, setting the scene, sequencing, portraying a unique and strong voice and countless others. Although I think I'm doing all of this to an extent in my current draft, I can be doing it more and I can do it better. I found Hochschild's "Reconstructing Scenes" to be helpful. Atmosphere is crucial to my profile, especially in the beginning as I try to highlight the Gospel Mission's area and its importance to the homeless, low-income and those that suffer form mental illness. Hochschild says: "For your readers to experience the scene, you must do more than describe how things looked. Sounds, smells, temperature, and even the textures of objects are all important" (132). Too often I focus on what can be seen, so this was an obvious, but important reminder for me. 

He also talks about dialogue which I really need to work on. I ended up taking a lot of my dialogue out in this draft.. I really don't know how that happened.. so now I need to put it back in and avoid a lifeless narrative as Hochschild calls it. Kramer's section "Setting the Scene" was also an important section for me. He advises writers to create a sense of volume, "to array details and events so that readers experience the location in three dimensions" (137). I think that this can be very effective in my profile as location is such an important element. Orlean's section on voice was also very helpful. She talks about the importance of understanding your voice as a writer, but I'm not sure I'm there yet. "You can't invent a voice. And you can't imitate someone else's voice.." (158). That sentence really resonated with me and my hope for the final weeks of the class is to work on developing/understanding my voice.

Story Pitch

For the next assignment I've been thinking about doing a profile on Ministry with Community and their work with the homeless, specifically those with mental health issues. However, in my last article I had problems getting a lot of information, and the people I interviewed did not want their picture taken. So I'm thinking I may get more information/photos if I do a profile on Henderson Castle. It's a historic landmark in Kalamazoo and I know that there has been some legal disputes with the new owner over the last few years so it might be interesting to do some more research. Thoughts?

Profile Process

I struggled immensely in putting this profile together. I conducted many many interviews (there are 5 other interviews with people who sleep at the Gospel Mission that are not included), and spent a lot of time at both the Gospel Mission and Ministry with Community. I gathered a ton of observations and quotes, and really don't know how to weave it all it into a cohesive piece under 2,000 words (right now I'm almost 500 words over).

Unfortunately, I did not have a ton of time to observe the daily processes of the Mission. The Mission itself was not easy to work with, and did not provide me with the kind of access I was hoping for. Also, other than attending classes and meals, the clients who stay permanently in men and women's shelters are not really around during the day, which also made things difficult. Therefore, I'm wondering if my piece is "narrative" enough. Also, while I was writing my piece, I thought about the New Yorker presentation we read for last week's class. MacFarquhar talked about how introducing oneself into the piece as a writer was jolting and somewhat problematic. Therefore, I decided to distance myself in writing this piece and did not use "I." I'm wondering if that makes the piece interesting, or if I should maybe put myself more in the piece.. Thoughts?

The piece as-is is very problematic. I'm struggling with how I present the Mission. While my narrative piece is biased based on how I feel the organization handles religion, I also do not want to take away from the good work the Mission does, and all of the people they help. I'm wondering if it comes off as completely anti-Mission.. I would also like to include a little more about Ministry with Community as a kind of alternative look at how other organizations that help the homeless and abused handle the concept of religion. Ministry with Community is really an excellent organization, but given that my main focus is a profile on the Mission I'm not sure if there's a place for it in my article.

Overall, I'm pretty clueless as far as what to do with this piece, so I look forward to hearing all of your suggestions!

Week 5 Response

I had my first interview today for my profile with Gospel Mission. With one interview under my belt, and four more to go this week, I tried to read each assigned piece for Wednesday very carefully. I was most intrigued by Larissa MacFarquhar’s presentation about The New Yorker Profile. She made a lot of good points that I think will be very helpful in my upcoming interviews, especially the two interviews involving clients of Gospel Mission. 

MacFarquhar talks about how it’s important to remind subjects that the interview is not a friendly conversation -- we, as reporters, want something from them. I think the most useful tip was her point about not filling the silence. People, myself included, are uncomfortable with long periods of silence during a conversation -- we find the situation and ourselves awkward, so we jump to a new subject to avoid this momentary discomfort. MacFarquhar, on the other hand, invites us to embrace this awkward silence. She states: “If you shut up, they have to speak.” I was really fascinated by this suggestion and am going to try to restrain myself in my upcoming interviews, and encourage my subjects to tell their stories. 

I was also interested by her viewpoint of first person. She states: “I feel that even one use of ‘I,’ the first person, interrupts.” She compares the writer’s use of first person to a director leaning in front of the camera-- “It has broken the illusion.” I think I tend to agree with her, although I think LeBlanc’s use of first person worked well in the particular instance of ‘Trina and Trina.’ Overall, the Sinatra profile and this presentation reinforced the dedication it takes to make a good profile. MacFarquhar states that it takes approximately 2 months for each story: one week spent with the person; three weeks preparing/studying up on subject; week transcribing tape; four or five days to writ time. Given all of the details and scenarios shared in the Sinatra profile I would imagine it took around the same amount of time to create such an amazing piece of writing. 

Personal Essay Revised(x2)

Franklin Outline

Complication: Suzanne fears illness
Development:
     1. Past threatens Suzanne
     2. Suzanne rejects fear
     3. Mom admits panic
Resolution: Suzanne accepts unknown

The Clean-Up Conversation

It was Tuesday. Six chairs and four people sat at the kitchen table. It had been a month since my return from Scotland, and the family dinners that I had missed so much when I was away had become normal once again. Now I longed for the North Sea.

Dinner conversation collapsed into its usual pattern with my dad ranting on about my older sister Margaret, and her mooching boyfriend Kyle.

“He’s good to Margaret,” my mom interjected, always the peacemaker at a table that has seen its fair share of battles. 

She scooped my dad a heaping helping of seconds -- a peace offering -- and was quiet for the rest of dinner. Sometimes my mom becomes so internally preoccupied that she checks out from reality. That night, staring at a swirl of peas across her plate, she was lost in her thoughts once again.

After my dad finished his food he pulled his chair from the table -- a sign that we were now free to leave. 

My younger sister, Mary, snuck out after him to avoid the after-dinner clean-up. I waited for my mom to offer up one of her weak pleas for help, but she said nothing. Hunched over the kitchen table, she began to put away the leftovers that would be my dad’s lunch in the morning.

Left alone with her in the kitchen, I tackled the dishes and complained about my boss.

“Joe wasn’t even in the office when I got there this morning. I had to wait 30 minutes before he even showed up!”

No response.

“And then I had to call every golf league member about the price change because he forgot to include it in the bulletin.”

No response.

I looked at my mom across the kitchen, bent over dishes, mechanically ripping off sheets of saran wrap. I rolled my eyes in annoyance, and continued to scrub away dinner scraps. 

“If I get sick I want you to put me in a home.”

I switched off the water and turned around to look at my mom casually covering the spinach casserole with pink plastic. She didn’t look at me. I think she wanted to pretend that this conversation was normal. That it was like any other clean-up conversation we’ve had over the years. But it wasn't. The obvious terror in my eyes would have only confirmed it.

“What are you even talking about?”

“I want to be put in a home. You can find a nice place and visit me. I don’t want to be taken care of.”

“That’s a little dark and premature mom, don’t you think?”

She let out a breathy sigh, shrugged her shoulders, and placed the leftovers in the fridge. 

My grandfather died when I was 10 after losing his humanity to Alzheimer's. Reduced to an infant, a 6’3’’ man in diapers, he could no longer walk, or speak, or remember us.

Is this what she thinks will happen to her?

My grandma took care of him at home; my mom and her siblings alternated weekends to drive up to help, until every couple weekends became every weekend. Eventually a hospice worker came to the house, but there were always family members around -- taking him to the bathroom, changing him, feeding him, talking to him. 

This went on for five years. I was too young to be sad about a man I had never known when he was healthy, a man that would never know me. 

Put me in a home.

At 21, the idea of my parents in a home was not something I had ever really thought about. I had never considered the possibility of my mom having Alzheimer’s, but after that conversation, the possibility consumed me. An image was stamped across my eyes and I couldn't blink it away. There was my mom, sitting in my grandfather’s rocker, her warm blue eyes faded into an absent stare. 

Yeah, she forgets where she puts her keys, but doesn’t everyone sometimes?

She always asks us to leave her reminder post-its, but she just has a lot going on. 

She works too much. 

Yeah, she works too much.

A few nights later, during a different clean-up conversation, my mom would tell me that she was afraid. 

“What if something’s wrong with me?”

I didn’t tell her that I was scared too -- scared that I might lose her; scared that she might someday forget me.

“Mom, there’s nothing wrong with you. Really, you’re worrying about nothing.”

Dinners passed, the kitchen was cleaned and eventually I stopped worrying about an illness she might get years down the road. But there are still moments, like when she misplaces her keys, that the familiar feel of panic sets in and I am terrified all over again. 

She just has a lot going on. 

She works too much. 

Yeah, she works too much.

Word Count: 813

Intended Audience: Lives

Discussion Questions - Writing For Story

1. In the final chapter, Franklin talks about the difference between stories about reality and true stories. He says that real life and researched facts do not add up to truth -- that reality is confusing, boring, and lacking in emphasis. Rather, readers want an extract of reality -- "a story with minimum loose ends, a tale that's been simplified and crystalized in such a way that it clarifies and enlarges the mind" (213-214).

Franklin believes that readers do not want reality, they want the truth. What does Franklin mean by truth? How can we as writers be truthful?

2. In the chapter "Stalking True Story," Franklin states that "successful stories generally have happy endings" (80). He talks about the public needing relief from the sorrows of the world. But as writers, are we doing a disservice to society at large by only writing happy endings? Surely in life, the end result is not always pleasant. Doesn't there need to be someone to investigate and narrate these moments of human suffering? In Franklin's assessment of what readers actually want, is he wrongly assessing society as shallow and fearful or is he accurate in that readers will not want to read sad stories?

3. In the chapter "Structuring the Rough," Franklin advises writers to begin with the end of the story rather than the beginning. He states: "The story doesn't pivot on the beginning, it pivots on the end -- so write that first. That way, you know exactly where it is that you need to foreshadow" (158). While this piece of advise makes sense to me, I also find it problematic. How do you feel about writing the resolution first? Do you think this approach is helpful or complicated?

Week 4 Response

  I was pleasantly surprised at how “readable” I found Writing For Story to be. It didn’t take me a long time to read and it clarified a lot of writing aspects that I struggle with. I was most influenced by the chapters that focused on structure and outline. I was struck by Franklin’s statement “words are not, repeat not, the basic unit of literary structure” (93). So often when I’m writing (whether it be journalism, poetry or a critical essay) I find myself stressing over word choice. In each phase of revision I change more and more words (often the final change is reverted back to the original word in the first draft) in hope of sounding original. However, after reading Franklin’s chapter about structure, I realize that word choice, though important, is not critical to a story’s success.  Structure, however, and establishing a clear focus, is imperative.

  I think my greatest struggle as a writer thus far is focus. Therefore, while outlining could help aid me in my focusing dilemma, I’m intimidated by the process. My approach to writing is what Franklin deems “spaghettiing.” I knock out a terrible first draft and then I edit (and edit, and edit, and edit, and edit, etc.) until I’m either pleased with the outcome or so disgusted and tired of my work that I can’t look at it any longer. Writing can thus be a long and tedious process for me sometimes. I think that the dramatic outline that Franklin describes in the chapter would greatly benefit me. I really struggled with my personal essay, and wasn’t too pleased with the outcome. Something about it didn’t sit well with me. After reading the outline chapter I realized what was wrong: my complication didn’t match up with my resolution. Dramatic outlining is definitely something I need to start doing; however, I know that it will be difficult for me stay within the 15 words. I tend to complicate things -- I like to use a lot of adjectives and words in general when I’m writing. I’m the kind of student who has to find ways to play with font and margins to make her paper appear shorter. The dramatic outline will definitely be a challenge to say the least. With that being said, I know that once I get the hang of this outlining technique my writing process will be a lot less painful, and hopefully the structure of my writing will have a clearer focus. 

The Clean-Up Conversation

It was Tuesday. Six chairs and four people sat at the kitchen table. It had been a month since my return from Scotland, and the family dinners that I had missed so much when I was away had become normal once again. Now I longed for the North Sea.

Dinner conversation collapsed in to the usual pattern: Mary said a prayer; dad complained about work; Mary yacked on about tennis and school; I talked about work; dad ranted about my older sister, Margaret, and her mooching boyfriend Kyle; mom listened.

After a heaping helping of seconds, my dad pulled his chair from the table and settled in to the black leather arm chair in his office. Finished with his food, we were now free to leave the table. 

Mary snuck out after him to avoid the after-dinner clean-up. If I had been in a better mood I may have yelled at her to stay and help, but I was tired. Too tired to listen to her usual ramblings about why she was exempt from kitchen duty. 

“Suzanne, I don’t have time to help I have too much homework.”

“Sorry that I actually go to school and have tennis.” 

“It’s not like you’re busy.”

At 15, “little Mary” has her moments of being a huge bitch, but being the youngest she gets away with it.

Left alone in the kitchen, I tackled the dishes and complained about my boss while my mom handled the leftovers that would be my Dad’s lunch in the morning.

“Joe wasn’t even in the office when I got there this morning. I had to wait 30 minutes before he even showed up!”

No response.

“And then I had to call every golf league member about the price change because he forgot to include it in the bulletin.”

No response.

Sometimes my mom becomes so internally preoccupied that she checks out from reality. It’s like talking to a brick wall. In these situations I’ve found that it’s best to leave her alone and let her think. So I continued to scrub away dinner scraps, carefully placing the rinsed dishes in the dishwasher. 

“If I get sick I want you to put me in a home.”

I switched off the water and turned around to look at my mom covering the spinach casserole with pink plastic.

“What are you even talking about?”

“I want to be put in a home. You can find a nice place and visit me. I don’t want to be taken care of.”

“That’s a little dark and premature mom, don’t you think?”

She let out a breathy sigh, shrugged her shoulders, and placed the leftovers in the fridge.

My grandfather died when I was 10 after losing his humanity to Alzheimer's. Reduced to an infant, a 6’3’’ man in diapers, he could no longer walk, or speak, or remember us.

Is this what she thinks will happen to her?

My grandma took care of him at home; my mom and her siblings alternated weekends to drive up to help, until every couple weekends became every weekend. Eventually a hospice worker came to the house, but there were always family members around -- taking him to the bathroom, changing him, feeding him, talking to him. 

This went on for five years. I was too young to be sad about a man I had never known when he was healthy, a man that would never know me. 

Put me in a home.

At 21, the idea of my parents in a home was not something I had ever really thought about, let alone my mother having Alzheimer's. But as I stood in the kitchen, my hands wrinkled and wet from the soapy suds, that’s all I could think about. An image was stamped across my eyes and I couldn't blink it away. There was my mom, sitting in my grandfather’s rocker, her warm blue eyes faded into an absent stare. 

Yeah, she forgets where she puts her keys, but doesn’t everyone sometimes?

She always asks us to leave her reminder post-its, but she just has a lot going on. 

She works too much. 

Yeah, she works too much.

A few nights later, during a different clean-up conversation, my mom would tell me that she was afraid. 

“What if something’s wrong with me?”

I didn’t tell her that I was scared too -- scared that I might lose her; scared that she might someday forget me.

“Mom, there’s nothing wrong with you. Really, you’re worrying about nothing.”

Dinners passed, the kitchen was cleaned and eventually I stopped worrying about an illness she might get years down the road. But there are still moments, like when she misplaces her keys, that the familiar feel of panic sets in and I am terrified all over again. 

She just has a lot going on. 

She works too much. 

Yeah, she works too much.

Word Count: 815

Intended Audience: Lives