Writing Process

It was difficult for me to find a topic to write about it. I couldn’t think of a “pivotal event” that had really changed me, or my outlook. I considered writing about study abroad, but it was really the experience as a whole, not a particular event while I was away that I feel affected me. Given that it's a "personal" essay, I wanted to take a bit of risk and delve in to a conversation or a relationship that's unique to my life. After some lackluster ideas, I remembered a conversation I had with my mom after dinner about a month ago. Out of no where my mom just blurts out, "If I get sick put me in a home."  I was really taken aback by the abruptness of this statement and tried to do that conversation, that night and the following morning justice, but I'm not sure the essay works. It kind of reads more like a story than an essay, so not quite sure if it even really follows the assignment..

The “How to Write a ‘Lives’ Essay” handout that we received in class says not to write about sickness and death, and while that wasn't my intention writing the piece, I'm afraid that is maybe how it reads. My grandfather's sickness is certainly an element of the story and the fear that my mom could end up like him is present as well, but I tried to make it more about me realizing that my parents were getting older for the first time. And that decisions like putting my mother in a home were decisions I would someday have to make. That’s what my mom’s comment “put me in a home” signified to me -- her mortality. Up until that conversation, I never really thought about what it would be like not to have my parents around.

I tried to be specific and set the scene of the conversation, but I’m not sure if it takes too long to get in to the actual “action.” Another concern is whether or not readers can see a difference in my character post-cleanup conversation. I tried to portray that through the repetition of my thoughts: She just has a lot going on. She works too much. Yeah, she works too much. For me, it was a way of trying to convince myself/get my mind off what my mom said to me. However, I'm not sure that's how it comes across.